Lately, I have had some interesting conversations with a group of women on the issues of love and money. In this day and age of female emancipation and equality, I was surprised that many of the women I spoke to still wanted to “be taken care of.”
I, for one, have never been motivated to marry someone with the idea that they “will take care of me.” I have selected partners based on their level of integrity, depth of conversations, chemistry, intellect, and healthy physique rather than their income or net worth.
So, I probed these women on what “being taken care of” entailed. I discovered it was not about a partner who would do the dishes, the laundry and give you tender loving care when you were ill. This woman wanted a partner who would take care of them financially! They wanted someone who was financially well off!
We choose partners for a variety of reasons. But, research shows that many women still marry for money. According to a report published in 2015 from the London School of Economics, “women are now more determined than ever to find a partner who will improve their financial prospects.”
And is there anything inherently wrong with that? We hold many romantic ideas about love. Does this more pragmatic approach to selecting a mate who can “take care of you financially?” rob us of some of our idealist values around love?
Instead of roses, chocolates, and poetry, is there something less than ideal to seek a partner who can provide a beautiful home, healthy pension, and golden nest egg while also giving you roses, expensive chocolates, and poetry?
What do you look for in a partner? Kindness, tenderness, and great sex? How much would these cost you? In other words, would you trade compassion, good listening skills, and empathy for ten million dollars? Would you trade them for the options a large sum of money can buy?
While you may not marry for money, would you drop someone because they had a massive amount of debt? Would your idea about a date change if they came by to pick you up in a Porche?
I suspect, amongst other things, a person’s financial state does have a bearing on whether we choose to marry them or not. What about you?